I AM IN CRISIS

Have you ever encountered yourself wondering if what you are today is enough?

You might not be the only one thinking exactly that.

As any human being we have the tendency of wanting more, wanting to overcome obstacles and working hard into building our future, but often you doubt of yourself thinking you’re too old, or maybe passed the point where you had to accomplish everything. Mostly not because you set that specific line, but because the people around you might be in that level you’re not. Let me elaborate a little bit on that.

You’re 30 years old and you run over an old friend from school, you start catching up (because it’s been a while) and ask them how they’re doing… They start telling you how they got married have 3 kids, 2 cars, just bought a summer house and you’re there like…

-Well I’m still alive!!-

You get home and start re-evaluating how you are not as successful as such and such… and how at that point in your life you don’t have all you wanted. Maybe you have 2 jobs and doing online classes as you barely have time to do anything and maybe a single parent struggling to get by…

This same feeling you have happens to me, and I am only 23.

I want so much in life and expect so much of myself that very often  I find myself comparing to standards that I don’t even know where I got them from. I find myself wishing some things that are not near and stress over that. And this is perfectly normal according to science and human behavior studies.

On the other hand I just encourage you to look around you and find 3 things that you currently have that make you happy, find 3 things that you feel proud of, and find 3 things that even in the worst day you look at and will make you feel fulfilled.

Do not stress anymore about tomorrow. Tomorrow will come soon, in the meantime build your tomorrow with wise decisions and intelligent actions, don’t let emotion affect your judgement and please don’t let people around you get in your head.

I hope this small piece of me can help you through the day.

 

Love,

 

Fernanda B.

Believe In Yourself

You’ll Feel Better After This

1. The guy with the world’s worst Mother’s Day present:

Via cashcutie.tumblr.com

You Are Just Another Blogger

Lately I have been talking about the fact that style should not be imposed, style should not be something you follow because you want to look like someone, style is your personality, which means is unique. People in Asia have an incredibly unique style. The first time I saw a video on how they dress in their every day life I was like….. WOW! When you ask them, they will tell you that they want to stand out and that is the reason their way to dress is so rare. Here in the occidental part of the world we’re kind of like -CATTLE- and excuse me, if you think the word is harsh… But it is the reality. We all do fashion blogs, we all blog about the same, we all write and think alike and most alarming… WE COPY EACH OTHER.

What do you think the creators of the blogs The Blonde Salad have in common with The Song of Style, or Cupcakes and Cashmere with Micah?

The Answer is NOTHING!

They just share a passion for blogging and fashion.. nothing more…. their style is completely different. I actually enjoy blogging about being different and standing out, because in this world where we’re just going after the same thing in the same way… Well I am sorry to tell you that will not make the difference at all.

I want to challenge you today.

I want to challenge you to be different, to brainstorm, to make a change every day of your life. That you blog because you want to share your journey with people. To inspire. To grow. To believe things can happen for you if you just try to make it the right way and not the easy way. Often we find ourselves thinking that we’ll make it if we just start, if we just try… and well.. yeah that is true.. but work hard for stuff, don’t be lazy. Make it your job that every day girls want to visit your blog, because they know they’ll find inspiration not only for clothes but for something far more important. Passion. I want to see passion. Passion is underrated, way too much. And you will just be one more girl dreaming about having a successful fashion blog. Do not copy anyone, seek for inspiration, seek for that passion. Dream big and reconnect with who you are, sometimes we get lost in all the things we see, we read and we were told… Just go back to being you. I can guarantee it’s far more effective than being just another place to see girls stuff, for that I already have Pinterest.

Think about it 🙂

Be the difference.

Nighty Night ❤

I don’t want to love again

I met him 7 years ago. It was the era of staying late at night talking on messenger; it was a night I wasn’t going to forget.

I started talking to him and it made an impression, when I looked at his photo I had an idea that crossed my mind “I’m going to marry him”, not strange for a girl my age.

This strange habit of messaging every night didn’t change, and actually it got more intense with time. He didn’t live close to my town, so it wasn’t easy to see him, but we didn’t care.

I was raised in a very conservative christian-household, I wasn’t allowed to go out late at night, have boyfriend, go to parties, have sleepovers, or any of the ordinary kids have; so imagine me asking them permission to travel for 3 hours just to see a guy. It wasn’t going to happen. Therefore I created a plan to escape and see him. Now that I think about it, it’s funny how a girl like me would risk so much for someone she didn’t know well.

When I saw him though, in that moment I didn’t feel the same way he felt and we talked for a while, and then that was it… All effort, nights spent talking to him just done… And I can’t even remember why.

On my way of growing up, I left my house and started living by myself. Moved to a bigger city and between working and studying had no time for a relationship, I was always very focused on my goals.

Living in the big city I found him again, it was crazy.. We weren’t teenagers anymore, he was studying, I was focused on my stuff and we just clicked. This time it did happen.

We dated for a while, we felt in love like kids again and we had a great time. We used to spend afternoons together at the park, just holding hands and looking at each other’s eyes. We had this special place where it was just the two of us.

Time flied and it was a while having this special thing, one day I was at work and I got a call from a friend telling me that this person I was so found of was cheating on me….

I was such a sad time for me.

A lot of things happened and we broke up… Months passed… I was devastated… to the point I didn’t want to love anymore…. I will never get to know his side of the story but I know he couldn’t have had a good time with what he did to me.

In all that time I didn’t call texted or even made an effort to reach out to him, until one day I saw him again.

To be honest in my mind he was THE ONE and I thought he was going to be the only one for me, that story you tell when you are old and how you passed that and now you’re happy… well that didn’t happen.

I knew he wasn’t going to change so I said goodbye… Finally and moved on.

A year later I found the man I am married to and now I am happy.

The reason I am sharing this story with you is because I know sometimes we go through very hard breakups and we don’t think we’ll make it.. But I can tell you that will change.. You will pass that.

Love yourself, respect yourself and believe you deserve the best and you should never settle.

Love Always,

Fernanda B.

This is a man’s world

One of these days I was in a meeting at work, and I heard a comment that surprised me so much that I had to share this with you. One of the managers said: “Women are not meant to be in management”. And I asked him why. And he went on and off on the fact that women are not disciplined enough, were not effective managing time, if they got pregnant they had to leave, and all these reasons got me very concerned.
Why?
Because I know he is not the only one thinking working women are not meant for management and well this is due to a liability factor.
I worked for Bank of America when I was 19, this was my first job. I had to work and study. Balance my life to be responsible , engaged into my goals and very focused. Being young and having a lot of responsibility is not easy, thus people have the idea that you cannot do something because you can’t handle it. But I proved everyone wrong and started working in projects and helping my team and department to be better and correct gaps.
I am 23 y/o now, have a better job and have demonstrated to people why women should be in management. Women have drivers which is their willingness to overcome those wrong perceptions. I know perceptions and prejudice can be harder to break than anything else. But as a young professional woman I have set a goal for myself, which is changing day by day the perception people around have of this.
Women are rare on management, but I know that day after day if more of us make this a goal and make it personal we will change the way things work now.
Do you remember when women couldn’t vote?
I don’t, because I wasn’t born in that era.
Hopefully our daughters will come to the world in the age where equality is real and the decision of them being in management will not be determined by their gender; but the qualities and capacities they have.
And they will be able to do it.. Looking fabulous!

Confidence.. Does that really exist?

When we learn that a supermodel-looking girl is suffering from an eating disorder, you kind of get confused, because you think that maybe that person looking the way they look should be the most confident girl in the world. Well.. That is not entirely true.

Often people carry insecurities from the past, bullying, abuse, insults and many many things… We all have baggage.

Personally I dealt with bullying at school and I know what is like to go home and cry and next day not even wanting to wake up because you know you were going to the worst nightmare: Facing life.

You see so many suicides, self-harm and even people treating others in the same way they are treated!!! What kind of world are we living in!?

Someone many years ago helped me understand that I was perfect, that even though society is always telling me I have to be in a specific size or have certain kind of beauty to be considered beautiful that is not accurate, that I should determine that, and only me.

People find it very easily to criticize without thinking about consequences…. I mean.. How many times you’ve said.. She is not pretty or she is too fat or some sort of comment about the way that person physically looks?!

We make it HARD… VERY HARD for each other to have confidence and make that stereotype go away.. God I really want it to go away.

If you are facing a difficult time in your life because you don’t feel you fit in the standard… Please stop. You don’t have to fit in anywhere, just feel comfortable with yourself. And you might wonder, how.. Easy to say, hard to do.

Well this is what I did:

1st. If you don’t like something change it.. Like I said before: Not for them, for you.

2nd. Beauty standards are wrong, the top models you see in Ads.. It’s all PHOTOSHOP. Even Guiselle Butchen has cellulite.

3rd. Change the idea of what you think of success. Success is not determined by how much money you have, but how happy are you with what you do.. You might have money but not happy with what you do?! Move on and follow your dreams if that is what it takes. Find your talent. That will get you far.

4th. Feel happy with the good qualities you have. For example in my case I don’t have the best body, but people often say I have a beautiful face and great fashion style.. And I take pride on that. Besides I am always trying to be better and I am still trying to get to the weight I want to be on. And trust me it is not what they say I have to be on.. I set my own target.

5th. If you feel that you have things you need to talk about, talk. TALK to your family, friends and if necessary a psychologist. Talk to someone, it will feel like you are not carrying all that weight  alone anymore.

6th. Learn from your mistakes and don’t compare to anyone. You are unique and special. That is it! 🙂

7th. Prioritize: Get things done in order of importance.. If you need to get something taken care of to be better brainstorm on what and how.

8th. Face your fears. No one can make you feel any better, this is your thing. Live with it and learn from it.. Oh and move on!

9th. Erase anyone that might be causing you to feel bad about yourself, that person is not worth it.

10th. Surround yourself with positive stuff and motivation. Read, listen and work.

 

If you need anything or have any questions leave it on the comments and I will be more than happy to help!!

 

Love dolls 🙂

 

 

Makeup, does it make me beautiful?

 

Look at the photo above.

 

Take 5 seconds to analyze it.

 

What do you see in it?

 

What do you think about it?

 

After I saw the post on Instagram I stared at it and on the left I saw a beautiful, beautiful girl; and then on the right I saw a model-like girl also beautiful.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot because I think ALL women are beautiful. Makeup free beautiful with all flaws and all.. just perfect.

 

What defines beauty or what you consider beautiful?

There are wide varieties and conceptions of beauty, depends on where you come from, social status, tradition and culture..

 

Beauty in Africa looks like this:

 

Beautiful Asian:

 

Beauty in India:

Native-American Beauty:

 

Well.. You get the idea right?!

Beauty is different for all.

 

I normally hear people criticize girls who wear makeup, other may say: “Oh! She doesn’t look as good without it”. On the other side other people actually think you should wear makeup to be beautiful.

Well I am going to give you now my point of view on beauty:

Beauty is a strong independent woman who is able to raise a kid on her own.

Beauty in a woman for me is a girl who loves to read and nurture her brains and skills studying.

Beauty is a woman who overcomes all obstacles and is able to succeed.

Beauty is within all of us, and reflects outside and it shows in your eyes, in your smile and in your face.

 

SO WHAT ROLE DOES MAKEUP PLAY IN IT?

Well it is ART, it’s a form of expression, part of ones personality. No one should criticize art. We all like different kind of art.

I personally love makeup, and might just say I am good at it. But there are days I don’t feel like wearing any makeup.

That doesn’t make me any less beautiful on the days that I don’t wear.

 

This is beauty…

 

This is beauty…

And this is beauty.

 

 

Please, if you can read this. Don’t let any standard define you. Only you can determine what you like, what makes you happy and only you should determine if you feel like wearing makeup today.. or not.

 

♥Love u all,

 

 

 

 

Mujer, Tu vales

Hoy quiero recordarles a todas lo valiosas que son, no hay limite que no se pueda alcanzar si se trabaja por ello.

Siempre se positiva y tarde o temprano se abrira el camino.

El exito llega una vez que se superen los miedos!

 

Lo vales!!!

 

 

Feeling good in my own skin, despite my weight problem

I want to to share with you something very personal on my struggle to gain confidence and overcome bullying.

Since I can remember I’ve been struggling with weight.  I’ve been size 4, 12, 8, 14… And all in the middle of those.

I don’t know why but I get a lot the comment: “You are so beautiful, but you would be even prettier losing weight”. And to me that is just wrong.

Follow this link to continue reading—>>>Feeling good in my own skin, despite my weight problem.

 

My Husband & I